No Virginia, Haitians Aren’t Eating Pets in Ohio

I used to think I didn’t hate anyone but I do

I used to think I didn’t hate anyone except the Wilpon family (former owners of the Mets who should have their own circle of hell). I was wrong. I hate conspiracy theorists. HATE THEM. Why? I can’t quite put my finger on it but their stubborn refusal to accept reality is tearing apart our nation and it pisses me the F off.

Truth be told, conspiracy theories have always annoyed the crap out of me. Sure, there are some conspiracies out there but 99.99 percent are bunk. The problem is that is often hard to disprove them — because they are so batshit crazy — and people use that as validation of their nonsense.

Take QAnon. I met someone in Florida who was convinced he had fought shape-shifting aliens in Louisiana. I met him while volunteering at a homeless shelter and he admitted doing a lot of hardcore drugs so I thought maybe that’s where he got his ideas.

Then I came back to New York State. My father died and before I could move back, I asked a friend to move in to watch the house. He got a free place to stay and I had someone watching the house. Seemed like a win-win at the time. I knew he was a 9/11 “truther” but everyone has their quirks, right?